If you’re anything like me, your optimism swings from a positive personality trait to a fatal flaw every now and then. How many books are on your TBR? I’d rather not answer, personally. We get excited and want to write that holiday short for our newsletter. After all, Valentine’s Day is still two weeks away, and it's only eight thousand words—right? We dive in and announce our intentions, forgetting we are still writing our main WIP, beta reading two novels, (and line-editing yet another, if you’re me). But don’t forget to post to socials! It would be a shame if the clock app forgot about you. Separate posts for Instagram! Because that audience is way different. Don’t you have a Facebook? A blog? A podcast?
What about a job?
A family?
We overcommit—or commit at all—forgetting that we don’t wake up with the same amount of spoons every day. That productivity is not a straight line. We want to make our families, our friends, and our followers happy. But, over time, the things that gave us so much joy become impersonal.
And we feel chained to it.
We read and write and exist out of obligation, and the happy chemicals aren’t chemical-ing like they used to. You want the book to be over faster so that it’s off your plate. You write so you can make your deadline because you told the world that was the plan. Now, you’re struggling to see the good in your story, and wonder if the time you’ve spent is wasted.
One mistake in this delicate machine, one tiny slip in the cogs, and the train is off the tracks. All the spinning plates are threatening to fall, and you wonder why you’ve chosen this. To write. To market your book. To put yourself on social media and try so hard to play by the rules without much to show for it. To take time away from your family to do and build this thing that you want, with nothing but diminishing returns. It’s a crashing wave of self-doubt, anxiety, and dread, because it feels like if you don’t do all the things your book will never be seen. If you don’t manage everything perfectly, you’re letting everyone down. If you don’t say yes to everything, then you aren’t working toward your dream “the right way.” Either you ramp up into a perpetual state of fight or flight, or you just stop caring.
Let’s take a deep breath.
No really, I’m serious. Are your shoulders stuck to your ears right now? Drop them. Calliope Zetsubō, one of our members, would say to unstick your tongue from the top of your mouth and relax your stomach. Breathe. How much time have you spent present inside your body lately? Rather than anticipating, planning, dreading? Berating yourself? Listing all the things you could be doing better? Wallowing in both your inability to be perfect and to avoid negative feelings?
Let’s get through this together. Let’s drink a little more water and a little less caffeine. Let’s go for a walk and remember what our version of success looks like. Let’s pick one thing that doesn’t push us toward that goal and walk away from it. If you’re burned out on social media, draft two posts right now—one that asks for book recommendations for 2024, and one about a book that you recommend. Post one today, plan to post the second next Tuesday, and don’t give social media a single thought for the next two weeks.
Is it your WIP? Change gears. Stop writing or write something else for two weeks. Read a book for pleasure. Watch some movies with your spouse or a friend. I took January to write a short outside of my wheelhouse and came back to book two refreshed and excited this morning.
Everything is a season. It’s so easy to forget that this is temporary, that we aren’t alone, and that we are allowed to say no. To give ourselves grace. To work slower than we thought. Hot baths. Some fruit. (Chips?) Intentional time with those most important to us.
There’s no reward for most worn out.
Some actionable steps:
Take a break without guilt
Set realistic goals when you return
Give yourself loose deadlines
Find three small things to be grateful for everyday
Watch videos about editing or writing
Remember that taking care of you is on the to-do list too
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